THE DRIFTING LOVER

Hey Sandhya,

I need to ask you something…
Are you falling in love with me?

I don’t know.
But when your eyes look at me,
it feels like they’re searching for me.

Is it true,
or is it just an illusion of my mind?

Hey, tell me,
what are you feeling inside your heart?
What do you feel about me?

I’m standing here,
drenched in rain,
silent, stealing glances at you — 
and your glances stealing pieces of me.

Before, you used to escape from me.
Now you walk freely near me.
Is this love?
Or is this just letting go?

Sandhya,
this is not a poem.
It’s not even writing.
It’s just something I’m feeling
when your eyes find mine.

I’m a coward, you know.
I don’t know what love truly is,
or how relationships work.

You’re my love.
And maybe, in some hidden corner of your life,
I am your love too — 
not in your bed,
but in your world.

I am a drifting lover,
wandering around you,
just to feel your presence.

And I don’t even know what I’m saying,
or if this is just another illusion
my lonely mind is creating.

But I feel it.
And I believe it.

You don’t escape from me anymore,
and that alone makes me feel proud of myself.

You know,
I don’t speak to anyone — 
not even to you.
Because I feel insecure.
Because I don’t want to disturb anyone,
especially you.

Your presence alone gave me life, Sandhya.
That’s enough for me — 
to live a lifetime
just by your presence.

I will hold onto this,
until the day my soul dries in the graveyard.

I love you, ra.
I love you from the depth of my ache,
my pain,
my love,
and the beauty that remains in me.

And know this — 
I am always your lover, da.
Even if you never knew.

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